MARION, OH (MARION COUNTY NOW)—Mother’s Day is this Sunday May 10th. Mother’s and Mother figures significantly contribute to our lives and shape our perceptive on how we would like to live them.
I was the youngest of five children with an age gap of twenty years between me and my oldest brother. As a result, we formed a very close bond.
My Mother, Lucy, was the first person to teach me about advocacy and to use my talents to advocate for others. She supported my love of writing. In fact, she encouraged me to write a book at just 10 years old. She helped me send my book off to the Simon and Schuster Publishing Company in New York. The book was rejected but I received a sweet letter of encouragement from the publisher that cemented my resolve to write. She was ahead of her time and participated in activities usually reserved for the “men folk” like hunting and political activism.
Because of her love of information, I grew up on a steady diet of Walter Cronkite and the daily newspaper. She adored Bill Clinton and died believing O.J. was innocent. The most valuable lesson she taught me (at a time when there were definite gender “roles”) was that I could be ANYTHING I wanted to be as long as I was willing to work (in some cases) like a man! She had a wicked sense of humor I hope I inherited. She taught me that you never abandon the family and to protect those you love. Because of her, I am a really great cook of homemade bread and noodles. There are too many to list here, but I still learn new things from her all the time. Some of my best memories of her are our weekly trips to Bingo sponsored by the Humane Society. On the rare occasions she lost, she didn’t mind because it meant the animals won. Some of the best advice she ever gave me was; “If it’s not for sale, don’t advertise it!” My Mom earned her place in Heaven more than 20 years ago, but I still miss her every single day.
I asked my own children what they’d say about me. My daughter said: “the best lessons were the importance of family, specifically with your siblings because once your parents are gone, your siblings are all you’ve got. Also, (and I hope this isn’t superficial because it’s important); the way you carry yourself, speak, and dress should be for the job you want; put forth the best representation of your education and appearance. If you look good, you’ll feel good, and if you feel good you’ll perform better.”
Some of her funniest memories are the way I used to make everybody remain silent while I tried to dock the boat and my occasionally busting her out of school for a shopping day.
My son said his favorite memory is when we traveled all over the east coast to compete in Pole Vaulting competitions. He said my best advice was “Never settle for less than makes you happy.”
We reached out to some readers to get their input:
Staci Sexton-Lohr:” My Mom, Sandy Sexton, taught me how to love unconditionally, to forgive those that hurt us and to help those in need”. She remembers her Mom inviting neighbors and even strangers to holiday meals and that her Mom would give the shirt off her back to those in need. She set the bar high.
Of her mother-in-law,Barb Lohr, Staci said she taught her to be strong and be there for others. “She raised a wonderful son.”
Kimberly Jenney said of her Mother Susan: The best advice she gave me was to protect and respect your independence. Her favorite memory: “Singing in the car with me. our theme song was “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Pat Benatar.” Jenney said.
Laurie Feintuch Nelson said of her Mother Elaine: that she remembers her Mom having a beautiful voice and singing solo in every church in town. She says her Mom also taught her to sew and knit and the patience for it. They loved going to community concerts and acted together in at least 10 plays at the Little Theater. Laurie misses her Mom’s smile noting that she smiled with her eyes. “There isn’t a day that she’s not on my mind.” Laurie said.
Tawni Thompson said of her Mother Beverly Grau; that she taught her not to worry about other people’s opinions. “What matters at the end of the day is if you are able to look at yourself and see a good person with a good moral compass. and if you don’t then make the changes! Think about what others see when they look at you.”
Judy Hoffman said of her Mother, Myrna Mellott; “My mother taught me to never judge others and show them love. Because of my Mother, I have never met a stranger. She had a gift of gab and believed hard work always pays off. Although she was born into wealth, my Mother taught us that money can’t make you happy. She had a big heart and shared it with all.”
Michael Hoffman said of his Mother Marjorie Hoffman: “Mom took me to church, taught me right from wrong and taught me how to hand sew.”
Donna Hardymon shared what she learned from her Mother Maggie Hensley: Besides teaching her to cook and clean, Donna’s mother taught her to stand her ground in life and relationships. Because of her, I never met a stranger and I talk to everyone. As a child, Donna remembers her Mom popping popcorn so the family could watch Chiller Theatre featuring Alfred Hitchcock. Her favorite memories include their adventures together with her Mother knowing that there was no plan, they’d just get back when they pulled in the drive. She recalls taking her Mom on a train ride, something she had wanted to do since she was seven years old.
Barry Alcock, Retired BHS Teacher said of his mother:
“My mom, Mary, was born, raised, and married to my dad in Birkenhead England, across the Mersey River from Liverpool. She spent her childhood in the years of the Great Depression, and her secondary school years in bomb shelters, since her city was a major shipbuilding city and major port for the British Navy. She never attended college, since her mom, my grandmother Rachel, held the belief that no woman needed to be educated at all beyond the age of sixteen. As it happens, my mom was brilliant and likely to earn a scholarship to college, but my grandmother wasn’t hearing any of that. Her lack of education never stopped my mom from knowing what she wanted, knowing why she wanted it, being confident that what she wanted was right, and standing firm for what she wanted against any opposition. From hundreds of examples of mom demonstrating these characteristics, I offer this: We lived in a modest three-bedroom, one-bath, two-story house on a street of identical houses. There was no air-conditioning until, sometime during my second year of college, my parents contracted for a new furnace, and added the A/C. My mother decorated the house in well-chosen pieces of art (copies, of course) and photographs of the English Royal Family, placed strategically and purposefully in my mom’s chosen spots on the various walls. Nothing would disturb her arrangements. Roy B., our neighbor who owned the HVAC company that installed the unit, brought his crew to the house and for three days pounded dragged lifted bolted and set in the exact right places in the basement the new unit, and then added the compressor outside. My mom stayed out of the way (frankly, not something she was good at). Finally, Roy himself stood in front of a wall in the living room and began preparations to install the thermostat, which would control the entire unit. My mom happened to walk into the room and asked Roy what he was doing. Installing the thermostat, he replied. In a steady voice (and in her proper English accent, something my friends all loved to hear; I was home from school and happened to be watching this unfold, knowing exactly how this was going to turn out), my mom said, not, it’s not going there; it’s going over here, and she walked Roy into the dining room and pointed to a far corner of a back wall. “It’s going here,” mom stated. “But Mary,” Roy said evenly, “it has to go out in the other room because of air flow and…” and he said other things about engineering that I forget but that I knew weren’t going to matter in the end, and Roy was about to learn that too. “Roy,” mom matched his evenness, “That will definitely ruin the look I have created in the living room,” and she swept her arm around at the art and photos. “It’s going here.” Dining room corner. And she walked into the kitchen. Roy followed her and made his case one more time (for the record, he was an HVAC expert and almost certainly correct in his various calculations and analyses). “So I can’t have the thermostat here in this corner?” mom asked. That’s right, Mary,’ Roy said, “you can’t.” “OK,” mom replied coolly, “take it out.” Roy, open-mouthed, then, “What?” “Take it out. Take out the system. We’ll try someone else.” She turned and walked out the back door into the yard. Roy looked at me, palms raised, and asked if I could help him here. I smiled, and maybe chuckled a little, and shrugged.
As a part of our salute to Mother’s, please take a moment to share your favorite memory, advice, or even a picture in the comments below. Happy Mother’s Day.
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